What thing, experience or person has really contributed to the individual you are today?

   Who we are as people is drawn from our past experiences. I am not convinced that we have the capacity to influence ourselves in any certain way, and definitely not as much as many people might hope or presume. How we react to new situations (and thus what prospective ideas and situations we allow ourselves to get into) is determined by our histories with other situations we perceive to be related. Additionally, there are other forces not directly related to our experience as conscious beings, but linked to our biology that play a significant role in manufacturing the individuals we are today.

  My understanding is that genetics is our general guideline to living as we know it. We are biologically programmed to react in certain ways, to adhere to certain imperatives, and to reproduce. I speculate (and there may even be studies that support this) that even seemingly complex behavioral patterns (like love) can be explained by a sophisticated balance of chemicals and reagents in the brain passed down from ancestors via recombinant heredity. From this I figure that if  these complex behaviors - the ones we generally think of as fundamentally human, fundamentally "us" - are indeed just the products of chemical reactions in the brain, then the individuals we are today are really just reactionary shells. We are who we are by the grace of circumstance - victims of fate.

  I imagine then a classroom of students all given different writing implements, but assigned the same essay prompt. By virtue of the simple difference in the tool each person is writing with, every essay will be different at least at a basic level. Then you consider the environment, with some students sitting in the front of the class closer to the teacher and white board being more likely to stay focused than those with 5 rows of desks in front of them; kids sitting next to the windows, those that didn't catch breakfast that morning, and those with ADHD or dyslexia may also be less likely to focus on the task. Similarly and more generally, we are all influenced by whatever happens to be going on around us. Chromosomes as our pens, and socioeconomic status, geography, and everything else playing the role of the kickball game going on outside the window, we may fundamentally amount to nothing more than predetermined reflexive vessels of experience.

   Having now taken up way too much time seemingly ignoring the prompt, I'm going to try to pull it all together simply: every thing, experience or person contributes to the individual encountering he/she/it thereafter. In short, the person who has really contributed to the individual I am today is the person I was yesterday. After all, reminding myself of the first sentence in this post, where would I be without my informant? 

What makes me really happy?

Well, it doesn't take much. I'm happiest when I'm in the company of a good book or friend. My idea of a perfect day is one that involves a lot of reading or good conversation, a comfortable place to sit, and coffee. Oh, also maybe a thunderstorm. I like those.

The thought of my family (especially my siblings) laughing and enjoying their lives also seems to do the trick. I realize that I'm different from them in a lot of ways and because of this it's not always possible for me to be the person that makes them happy, but knowing they are not suffering and are getting the decent life they deserve is really all I need to be able to enjoy my own life.

Solving problems also makes me really happy in a sort of "I belong here" kind of way. I think all humans crave the feeling of belonging and I satisfy that craving when I'm working on solving a particularly difficult problem, especially if it is in the company of other people that are equally dedicated to coming up with creative, innovative and original solutions.

PS. This question probably deserves a whole book, and I'm confident that I could write one just about my own life and what makes me really happy. Frankly though, ain't nobody got time for that, and if I'm going to leave out a crap load of stuff for brevity's sake anyway, I might as well stop at the 3 things that I immediately thought of.

An excerpt from Huxley's "A Brave New World."

"The theme of Brave New World is not the advancement of science as such; it is the advancement of science as it affects human individuals. The triumphs of physics, chemistry and engineering are tacitly taken for granted. The only scientific advances to be specifically described are those involving the application to human beings of the results of future research in biology, physiology, and psychology. It is only by means of the sciences of life that the quality of life can be radically changed.  The sciences of matter can be applied in such a way that they will destroy life or make the living of it impossibly complex and uncomfortable; but, unless used as instruments by the biologists and psychologists, they can do nothing to modify the natural forms and and expressions of life itself. The release of atomic energy marks a great revolution in human history, but not (unless we blow ourselves to bits and so put an end to history) the final and most searching revolution."

I think I'm in love.

A salute to "the greatest show on Earth."

   The assumption that the universe can always be broken down and resolved into easily understood adages and Wikipedia articles is an erroneous one. The fact is that some things are, even in their most condensed forms, still fantastically complicated. Such is the case with evolution and the evidence for it. Admittedly, the proof for evolution - especially considering molecular sequence data and certain dating methods concerning fossils - is probably too sophisticated for non-scientists. Or at least it requires more time to look into than most people can or will afford it. 
   My recommendation: grant the specialists - geneticists, paleontologists, geologists, anatomist, physiologists, etc. - that have spent their lives researching this stuff and converging on near unanimous support for evolution via natural selection the same trust you do the pharmacists and medical doctors that prescribe you medical treatments (they are, after all, scientists, too!). Just for a minute unhinge yourself from the religion, upbringing, etc. that won't allow you to either look into the facts yourself( and in time understand them), or trust the many great people that have contributed to our understanding of "the greatest show on Earth."

What is success?

Success is accomplishment/attainment of some desirable outcome or result as defined by the entity using the word. As such, there are many different definitions of "success" relative to the individual, political party, graduate admissions board, etc. Defining it this way, and operating on the assumption that you're interested in my ideas and not a political party's, I think a good approach to a response is to list what I want for myself for the future, again with success being the acquisition of the listed.

• A fully funded Ph.D. in a biology related field.
• A research position in industry (that is, one far from teaching) in which I would be challenged to come up with exciting, new, and innovative technologies and information related to cell, molecular, or some other sub-field of biology. 
• A group of friends and colleagues I can feel comfortable around; ones that I would appreciate, and that would appreciate me as a person.
• Maintaining connection with my family in Michigan especially if I end up living out of state. 
• A (long awaited) feeling of financial security and solvency.

I think these 5 points pretty accurately encompass what success is to me with regards to my life. As mentioned, success is really just the achievement of some goal, idea, or condition an entity sets for itself or others. These are my goals and ideas, and I intend to do everything I can to manifest them.

Success awaits, comrades.

Camp Epiphanies

   Camp was a lot of information cramming into a small amount of time, so there wasn't much time for an epiphany. Reflecting however, I think there are a couple things I took away from camp that come somewhat close to epiphanies. 

   1.) The discovery of a Microbiology & Pathogenesis Ph.D. program. Apparently, many schools offer this option, which I was previously completely unaware of, but seemingly fits my interests perfectly. The idea is to research new or alternative treatments for infectious diseases.

    2.) My portfolio is probably not as bad as I previously thought. Maureen's presentation really helped me toward this conclusion, also making me less anxious for the GRE, and more confident in my grad program search. 

   3.) Finally, I sort of realized that maybe this whole grad program search thing is better done in company even if no one else in the cohort is interested in pursuing a similar degree. Sitting with some fellow scholars outside of the mock interviews on the last full day of camp, I couldn't help but notice how much better the grad school search experience was with people to bug about this faculty member's project or that school's stipend and health coverage.

My Voice

"Your 'voice' is your unique contribution that is made up of your passion, talent, values and the 'needs' of the world - what problems need to be addressed and solved?  What can you do that other people can't?" - Lynn Curry.

In response:
My passion is for problem solving. It's my reason for pursuing a terminal degree and the reason I keep going from day to day. 

My talent is for considering the many intricate and generally complicated and hidden variables in a situation. This ability fuels my passion for problem solving, and most often gets me into trouble - it seems people would rather believe things are either good or bad, black or white, than spend time facing reality for what it really is: a labyrinthine yet systematic array of facts. 

I value truth and coffee. Science brings me close to both, so it's my favorite. 

The world is full of people willing to believe whatever lie makes itself most evident and takes the least amount of convincing. The world needs to emancipate itself from the tendency to only consider the most superficial aspect of problems and enter the domain of critical thinking. I confidently believe that you can't ever hope to solve a problem without fully understanding it. Any attempt at a solution will create another problem until the entire situation is considered with all of the facets that feed into it.

What I can do that other people can't is exactly what my talent is: to look at the complexity of a situation and consider all of the aspects of the problem. My hope is that considering this, I will inspire a new approach to whatever field I end up in.